Sounds like you're afraid of competition and the nature of competitive games.
You could either find a way to get that competitive spirit back, or stop playing competitively (duh).
Losing isn't all that bad. It happens, and no one likes to lose, unless they grew some masochistic thrill from it. But that's where the learning experience comes from.
Don't be afraid to get blown up, because it'll happen, at least once to any player at any skill level. Looking back at a vid of you taking it in the ass from whatever the fuck can be fun in it's own right, and it teaches you how to avoid getting blown up in the future.
Part of the thrill of competition is learning how to compete properly. If it's not for you, then retire.
Just the two cents from dumb ol' Skye.