buzzsaw

bumped

derp derp derp

lol umad, hes a jappo and english isn't his first language bro.

This guy might be on to something here

lol did you not get that this person wasn't me?

STORY TIME: I've always been the kind of person to argue with people on the internet and avoid confrontation in real life. But one day at this anime convention it cost me $100. A couple days prior to Fanimecon 2009, I decided to go to SFSU and play SF4. There weren't that many people there, but there was this Zangief player that beat me a lot and I thought he was a scrub. I know his handle on IRC in #capcom so I decided to talk crap about him when I thought he wasn't there! Unfortunately he had changed his nick and he called me out! What a dick! An argument ensued and eventually ended up in him challenging me to a money match, and I also banned him from #capcom because for some strange reason I have OP. Then he comes back with Mr. Wizard (the owner of #capcom) and chews me out, saying something like banning people for asking for a money match is not cool. So I prepared for this money match by going on the fanime forums and trolling the shit out of people. I don't play SF4 at all on my own, because I actually don't intend to let this money match happen because I honestly don't think I can beat that guy, but my reputation as an internet douchebag didn't let me refuse. I troll whatever fighting game threads are on this anime convention forum, claiming I am the best at everything. When people call me out I tell them that I know top players and play with them all the time! I even dropped Alex Valle's name when I was claiming that I was super pro at Super Turbo! Who could argue with someone that drops the name ALEX VALLE? And when all else fails, I can ask my camera whore of a girlfriend to defend me since anyone who argues with a girl is a douchebag, a douchebag like me! On the day of the con, I decide to go to the SF4 cabs they have there because the only people I can beat are scrubs that come to anime conventions. I start playing and I notice this Zangief player and I kind of recognize him! Oh shit, its the guy that challenged me to a money match, I didn't think he'd actually show up to this convention even though I said I'd be here! Double Oh Shit, he recognizes me and says he expects the money match to happen soon. He said something about starting it in the arcade while we were playing! I tell him its okay, but what I really meant was I don't actually want to lose my money! We start playing and he beats me 3 games in a row (it's a FT5 btw) and I didn't think I would be able to handle losing the money match. So I told him and the guys hanging out with him that I can't play on the cab, I made up this excuse that I can't play on american parts and that I need my own stick. This large argument ensues about me lying about starting the money match then and there. They claimed they said the money match was starting, and I made up this lie that I told them that I needed my own stick and I couldn't play on these cabs. My actions on the internet came back to bite me in the ass, but I definitely had to save face by telling large amounts of lies! Eventually this Zangief player looked like he was going to beat the shit out of me, whether or not we money matched or not. Right when this happened I said that if they could find a place to money match that we can do it. I thought to myself, theres a chance that none of his friends would bring their PS3/360 to an anime convention. Well, I was wrong! One of his friends brought his ps3 setup! I couldn't believe it, there wasn't any way I could weasel my way out of losing this money match. Then I came up with this great idea, that when we money matched we started 0-0 even though I had lost 3 games on the cab. The entire time I wanted him to get so mad that he didn't want to have anything to do with me! For a little while I believed he wouldn't, and then he agreed to restart the score to 0-0! Goddammit, I couldn't dodge this money match so I agreed to meet in this guys hotel room after I found my stick. I knocked on the door of the hotel room they told me they'd be in, I closed my eyes and hoped and prayed that they weren't in the room. The guy who had the room opened the door and there he was, I cringed on the inside when I saw him, I didn't want to lose $100, but most of all I didn't want to lose my reputation! The money match started and since he played Zangief, I thought I'd try and counter pick him with Ryu. It didn't work! He beat me 3 games in a row! I couldn't believe that this guy was that much better at me at this game. I had to think fast, I had to do something! So I paused the game in the middle of a match and tried to blame it on him! I could get myself a match and make it seem like it was his fault, if anything I could disrupt his momentum. I said I didn't pause the game, but what I didn't notice is that I hit the home button not the pause button! I still tried to blame it on him, and then he told me, "I DONT HAVE A HOME BUTTON ON MY STICK, THE HOME BUTTON IS ON THE CONVERTER THATS CURRENTLY ON THE FLOOR." Shit, I didn't want to get DQ'd a game because I "accidently" hit the home button! Well, my plan worked! He lost his momentum and I managed to win a couple games! Though he regained his composure and he beat me because all I was doing was mashing uppercut during blockstrings. After I lost I tried to talk to the guy, he looked pretty mad at me and looked like he was going to beat the shit out of me. I told him that they didn't understand why I act the way I do on the internet. I tried to make peace with him because it looked like if I didn't, he'd beat the shit out of me! All the guy did, was look at me and say, "GET THE FUCK OUT." I tried to say something again and he interrupted me and said, "GIVE ME MY MONEY, AND GET THE FUCK OUT." I gave him the money and I just ran out of there, I didn't want my ass to get kicked! After all that, I learned something. Never do money matches when you suck at fighting games, but you can definitely keep going on to pretend that you're good as long as you are behind the protective force of the internet! Note: This story is based on real events and if you say it's fake, well, you are full of shit.

ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWN, DOO DOO DOO DOO, DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO, DOO DOO DOO DOO, THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

I can speak for magz that his butthole was not prepared for the raping that happened to his streaming equipment at NCI

What can I say, the dicks need to be sucked.

DON'T JUDGE ME BECAUSE IM BEAUTIFUL

Let me tell you a little story about myself and why I am mad all the time. I'm mad because of my pathetic life as a guy who says he plays fighting games so people will think he's cool or some shit. All I've ever done is be bad at all these different fighting games, but hide behind the fact that if no one sees me play them, they can't possibly know that I'm bad.For all of my life all I've ever done is look for confrontation on the internet so I can let everyone know how great I am, or at least how great I think I am. I started with the cvs2 community. I know how to spam crouch fierce with Sagat, so obviously im hot shit. After a couple years, the cvs2 community figured out how much of a gigantic faggot I am, even random guys over at the CC I go to know of my exploits as SRKs #1 faggot. My work was done for that game, clearly. Then came this game called Melty Blood. I remember it like it was yesterday, me slobbering all over Arlieth's cock so he could give me mod status on his forum. I ran some brackets using bracket maker on someone elses laptop, because I'm too poor to afford one, so I could validate my mod status and threaten people in real life with a ban on this forum. People in the Melty community warmed up to me at first, cause I mean I'm such a great guy right? I showed up to SJSU to play with those guys, and then when I lost I made up excuses about why I lost. I can't believe I even told them that I had arthritis in my hands and that I was quitting fighting games at one point! I don't get why they don't like me! Who can resist a guy who tries to argue with everyone in the internet?!?! I did all the things an upstanding person would do: argue with everyone who doesn't agree with you, tell everyone how much better you are at fighting games than them, yell at people trying to genuinely try and learn the game that ask questions, AND put yourself out there as a pedophile! After all those things, those guys from SJSU couldn't accept me for the amazing person I am. One time that one AJ guy tried to screw me out of a ride that I told myself was mine. He said the car was full! That guy has an SUV, it could probably fit like 10 mexicans in the front portion alone! How dare he say that I couldn't have a ride, and on top of that I heard from someone else that he called me a faggot! Obviously what I had to do there was call my good buddy Arlieth! You know, he sounded pretty mad because he was on a date with his girlfriend, but thats okay because we're cool like that. I don't think I've ever spoken to AJ or any of the SJSU guys ever again, but I made sure to neg rep the shit out of that Dakanya fellow because his taste in food in unacceptable. Who recommends that peanuts place after the owner confused me for a fat ugly girl?!?! NOT ME After burning my bridges with the SJSU guys, the only people I could turn to were the guys from SF or the guys in the East Bay! One day I got a ride back home from this one japanese guy. I decided to tell him of my exploits in the car and how great I was. I specifically told him that if anyone talked shit about me, I would totally hack their myspace and they would learn their place in the world because of it. I also told him about my Guilty Gear days. I told him I was the best Dizzy in America and that everyone knew who I was because I beat all of them. Then I explained to him how they messed her up and how much I hate Accent core. None of the complaining is because I'm terrible at fighting games and I have arthritis in my hands that comes and goes every single time I place last in a tournament, it's because the game is wrong and maybe a little bit because of the arthritis. I also tried out this arcana heart game, I figured if no one in America played this game, I could claim that I was the best at it! Unfortunately there were guys who actually wanted to play this game and invited me to a session for this game. In fact, there were about 3 sessions I was invited to. The guy that was supposed to give me a ride seemed cool, so I flaked on him all 3 sessions. I mean, could I really let these guys find out how bad I was at this game? Could I really let them find out the only reason for saying I was the best at this game was because nobody played it?! I don't think my ego or my reputation could have handled it in that garbage can! Thankfully the new Melty Blood came out, and most of the guys that used to ridicule me and tell me how much a faggot I am quit playing! I could once again return as that guy that complains about everything, especially when I lose to some no name scrub. I also found this new forum I can be a part of because they don't understand how awesome I am: the fanime boards. After I lost my mod powers on melty bread because I yelled at people and threw shit fits for no reason, I needed a new place to tell everyone how much of a pedophile I was. So I found the fanime boards because my best friend crackpr0n aka pyron ikari was on there. His exploits almost match mine, but thats a story for another day! I begged and pleaded with the owner of the boards to let me be a mod on there since I lost my mod powers on melty bread. I even offered fellatio to him at no extra charge! After sucking large amounts of anime otaku cock, they made me a mod. Now I go around fellating my "friends" on the board. I say "friends" because this one time everyone was talking shit about my best friend pyron ikari. I didn't want to seem like the odd one out so I told them I also hated him, even though I totally suck his cock on the fanime boards. Then I woke up because goddammit, I am not actually this pathetic.

wall of text battle

Last time I checked bitching and moaning about people talking shit about you wasn't calling them out, it was bitching and moaning.

I like this part the most

Nobody gives a shit

Shit talk isn't mandatory, but its a part of the fighting game community you can't get away from. It's always there and only children are the ones that bitch and moan about it.

And what I've been saying is you losers need to grow some thicker skin. Bitching and moaning about someone shit talking you is like going to the coach of the football team because the other players are telling you how gay you look.

So you can't come up with constructive things to say and all you have are insults? Good job. The obvious problem isn't with the people talking shit. You need to grow some thicker skin.

Yes, apparently I'm stupid when you bitch and moan about people who talk shit when we have tournaments (an openly accepted thing in the fighting game community). You need to grow the fuck up and learn that the world isn't all touchy feely and rainbows and shit.

Or you're a gigantic fucking pussy who can't call out someone in person. Go avoid confrontation some more you goddamn scrub

Leeching? lol. Who the fuck do you think you are. You play this shitty ass game for retards and think you can come in here and try and Barney everything up? If you have a fucking problem with people openly talking shit, why don't you do something about it instead of beating around the bush behind the protection of the internet.

If you can't handle shit talk, you obviously shouldn't be playing fighting games.

Nobody gives a shit.

I can't walk due to the blood clots in my legs that formed from not getting up from my chair