Prototype909

A quote from Ragna's Help Me! Prof. Kokonoe Segment - "Oh, right, you don't have to lose on purpose to get 100% completion. I guess that really pissed people off last time."

Rachel's was much longer, or at least felt that way due to how many characters were involved (Not to mention the whole time I was paranoid about Dustloop crashing and losing all my hard work) Thust far, the trend in the joke endings seem to take feelings of the cast and characters and twist them into a humorous/inappropriate fashion (Girls gaga for Ragna and Jin's Ragna stalker syndrome) being the offenders so far. Gunning for either Hazama or Noel's ending next. As for Sena/Luna, Sena is just conniving around Ragna and Luna flat out hates him (Or at least is a high class Tsundere beyond Rachel's level).

Hazama's Joke Ending - Hazama - Maybe I should try some phenomena intervention...Oh, before that... Looks like that girl's melancholy caught up with me a bit. I can't believe this is happening right before the big show...Oh boy... *Hazama shrugged off his jacket and tossed it into a trash can in the corner of his office. He examined the wall for a moment, then pressed a seemingly-unimportant section of it. With a rumbling sound, the wall split in two. Behind the wall was a bathtub shaped like a cat's paw. Hot water was already pouring from the shower head* Hazama - ...I just can't get used to it. This thing is hideous. Who thought this would be a good look for a bathtub? I really need to get this remodeled. *Grumbling, Hazama grabbed one of several bottles of bath powder from near the window and poured it despondently into the odd-looking tub.* Hazama - Aaaaah... Nothing like a nice hot bath...This bath powder is wonderful...It's scent free, and it makes my skin feel so smooth! It's wonderful. Hmmm... Is it possible? Could this bath powder be the secret behind the Kaka Clan's secret hot springs? *Suddenly, something brushed against Hazama's heel.* Hazama - Huh? What's that... Oh, right! I totally forgot about the egg. Should be done boiling by now... *Hazama plucked the egg from his bathwater and cracked it open on the side of the tub.* Hazama - Oh, this is perfect. Nothing like a fresh egg in the bath. Whoops, looks like I relaxed a little too much. Time for me to get going... *Hazama is wearing a bathrobe. He is also standing in front of a closet filled with clothes. The same clothes. One suit, over and over.* Hazama - Let's see.. Which one says "me" today...? Ah! This one! Perfect! As usual, this one fits me best. Now, I guess it's time... Proto's note - (Switch locales from Hazama's office to Kaka village) Hazama - ...This town is always so deserted. I thought maybe I could do something interesting with a phenomena intervention, but... I just don't feel like it anymore...*Sigh* Well, maybe some other time... Taokaka - Heeeeeey! Over there! it's green guy meow! *A familiar voice froze Hazama in his tracks. As if in slow motion, he saw Taokaka leap throw the air toward him* Hazama - What?! Taokaka - Neow I got you! Hazama - Hey! What are you doing?! Get off me! Y-You stink like a cat! Taokaka - Meowhahaha! Tao will never let go! Hazama - Ah! Come on, what are you doing?! Hey! Taokaka - Just shut it, green guy! Tao doesn't like it when her food talks back meow! *Bite* Hazama - Ouch! Taokaka - *Nom* *Nom* *Nom* Hazama - That hurts! A-Are you actually trying to eat me?! Taokaka - Green guy, succumb to your destiny meow! Neow, everyone! Chaaaaaaaaarge! Feisty-Kaka - Yay! Cali-kaka - All right! Hazama - What?! Wh-Where did they come from!? Taokaka - *Bite* Feisty-Kaka - *Chew* Cali-kaka - *Chomp* *Chomp* Hazama - Stop! Aaah! Please, stop! H-Hey! Stop it! Terumi - I said knock it off, you goddamn cats! *Terumi's brutal attack caught Taokaka right in the face* Taokaka - Meoooowch! That hurt, green guy! Terumi - Oh give me a break! This is so goddamn annoying! Feisty-kaka - Wow, Tao, look at that! This guy looks like he just put his finger in a light socket! Cali-kaka - He must be really mad! Are you mad? Are you? Terumi - Shut up! Shut up, you little monsters! Taokaka - Meow... You don't have to be so mean... We just all really, really, REALLY like you green guy. Just the thought of you makes us want to gnaw on you meow. Feisty-kaka - Yeah! Cali-kaka - Let us bite you! Terumi - Huh?! You're creeping me out! Just...just say away from me! Don't come any closer! Taokaka - Don't be such a party-pooper, green guy. Come on, just let us as least nibble enthusiastically for a while meow! *Taokaka and the kittens leapt at Terumi once again. Their eyes; twin orbs of burning red beneath their hoods, their cheeks flushed, and their mouths dripping with saliva, they advanced. The sheer force of their intent forced Terumi to take a single step backward.* Jubei - Gotcha Terumi - Eh!? *Terumi had let himself be herded straight into Jubei's trap* Terumi - Jubei?! What the hell are you doing!? Jubei - Ya can't weasel your way outta this one, Terumi. *Killing intent burned in Jubei's eyes. A chill ran down Terumi's spine.* Terumi - Arg...! You let your guard down just once, and this kind of shit happens...What are you planning on doing with me, you freak?! Jubei - Well I reckon I'll kill you. Ain't no way I'm gonna let a critter like you do as he pleases now that I've found ya. But before I do that, I just wanna...smell ya... Terumi - ...WHAT?! Jubei - Before I kill ya--no, before you die--just let me smell ya. I just wanna smell ya until I'm satisfied. Terumi - What the hell?! Are you completely insane!? Why can't we just fight or something?! I thought you hated-- Jubei - *Sniff* Terumi - Can't you wait until I'm finished talking?! Jubei - 'Course I hate ya. I hate ya so damn much, I'd sure love to beat the tar outta ya right, but...I just...can't seem to control this urge... *Sniff* Terumi - You're freaking me out! Let go of me! Gaaaa! Ouch! *Hazama has been so preoccupied with Jubei that Taokaka and the kittens had been able to sneak up and sink their teeth into his leg. Their tails twitched happily as they gnawed away.* Terumi - Aaah! That hurts! This is ridiculous! Ouch! Kokonoe - Hmm, well, I can see you're a little busy right now. *Kokonoe grinned at Terumi, reached down to pick up his hat, and set it back on his head.* Hazama - ...Kokonoe! Kokonoe - So, I've finally found you. And damned if you aren't being served up to me on a silver platter... No, I don't think I can pass up an opportunity like this... *Kokonoe's claws shone with the promise of cold, uncaring death.* Hazama - Ugh...! This is the end for me, isn't it? Kokonoe - No, I don't think killing you is really going to do it. No, death would be too good for you. After all you've done... Hazama - ...Wh-Why are you walking toward me?! Stay away! Kokonoe - I don't want to get closer to you either, damn it! I just...I can't stop it! My body's moving on its own... Hazama - Please, stop this nonsense! Back! Stay back! I hate cats! Kokonoe - Hate? Hah, just look around you. You're surrounded by cats. I think you're actually happy, aren't you? Hah! Thought you could pass yourself off as an innocent and seduce the lot of us... Hazama - What the hell is wrong with you!? How am I seducing anything?! Taokaka - The green guy is seducing us meow! Purrvert... Jubei - ...He sure is. Even I can barely resist him. Hazama - Shut up, all of you! No! Better yet, get off me! Taokaka - Meow! No way, green guy! Hazama - Will someone please tell me what on Earth is going on here?! Is this some new form of harassment?! Kokonoe - All right! Looks like it's my turn now... Hazama - Wh-Why are your claws out?! Kokonoe - Just let me sharpen my claws on your chest. Hazama - Huh? Kokonoe - I said, I want to sharpen my claws on your thin, frail chest until I'm completely satisfied. Hazama - What kind of freak are you?! Kokonoe - I don't care what you think I am. I just...have to sharpen my claws. I can't stand the sight of you, but for some reason, I have to sharpen my claws...on YOU! I can't control these urges any longer! Hazama - Whoa! H-Hey! I told you to stay away! S-Stay away from me, or...or...*Sneeze* Kokonoe - Hmmm. Have to say, I kind of like the way your voice sounds right now... Are you crying? Is this the result of a suppressed fight-or-flight response constricting your airway? Hazama - No, this is *Sneeze* *Sneeze* I'm just allergic to--*Sneeze* Kokonoe - Allergic to cats? Oh, an antigen-antibody reaction. You're experiencing anaphylactic shock, huh? Hazama - Just stay where you are, all right?! You're freaking me out! Kokonoe - Oh, you look so damn scared... Your face looks like a balloon, and you've got some sort of liquid oozing out of just about every hole in it... Ahaha! This is wonderful! Suffer some more! He he he... Taokaka - Meowhaha! Kokonoe - Hey, Kaka kitites. You don't need to hold back on this chump. Just go ahead and do whatever you want to him, all right? Feisty-kaka - Yaaay! In that case... Cali-kaka - I can't wait to gnaw off his nose! Hazama - H-Hey, kids! Don't climb on me! Please! M-My nose is getting itchy...! *Sneeze* *Sneeze* Kokonoe - Look at that! *Kokonoe's eyes opened wide in amazement. Out of nowhere, countless cats had suddenly appeared, making their way toward Hazama.* Hazama - Ugh! Kittens - Meowmeow! Taokaka - Whoa! I didn't think you guys would show up too meow! Jubei - I reckon this's just about every cat in Kagutsuchi. Hazama - Wh-What the hell is this?! *Sneeze* Kokonoe - Your actions...no, your way of life, has lead you to this point. You have no one to blame but yourself. Hazama - *Sneeze* There's no way-- *Sneeze* Jubei - Ha ha ha ha. Looks like yer about as helpless as a new-born baby, ain't ya? Taokaka - Curl up and die from your horrible allergies, and your journey to Tao's stomach will be complete! Err...meow... Kokonoe - No, let me sharpen my claws. Then when I'm done... Jubei - No, let me smell ya! Kittens - Meowmeow! Kokonoe - Then, when we're all done with you... Jubei - I'll finish you off! Hazama - Ugh! *Hundreds of pairs of cat eyes turned to stare at Hazama. Sweat drenched his body, and for a moment, he was blinded by despair.* Kokonoe - Hey, I've got an idea. How about this? We let go of him, and when he starts running, we all chase him together. It'll be like...a game of tag. The first one to catch him can do whatever they want with him. Whatever. They. Want. Play with him, hurt him, eat him, kill him...you name it. Hazama - What?! Taokaka - Count Tao in meow! Jubei - Fine. Hazama - W-Wait *Sneeze* A-All right, all right! I'll fight you, OK? J-Just calm down--*Sneeze* Kokonoe - Ok, we all let him go at the same time. 1...2... Hazama - Time out! TIME OUT! Kokonoe - ...3! Here we go! Get Hazama! Taokaka - Meow! Jubei - Haaaa! Kittens - Meow! Hazama - P-Play tag?! There's no way I can outrun them! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarggh! *Before long, Hazama's cries were all that suggested he lay somewhere beneath the writing mass of fur, tails, and claws. ...Back in his office... Hazama's screams of agony drifted in through the window. Steam was still rising from the recently-abandoned bathroom, and a bottle of bath powder sat on a shelf near the bathtub. The label read "100% Spanish Catnip! The Kaka Clan Secret, Now Available In Your Home!" On the back of the label, in very small print, were the words "Caution: Use in moderation. Excessive amounts may cause uncontrollable mating/courtship behavior in felines."

Jin's Joke Ending (Italics indicate the NII-SAN voice) - *Jin opened his eyes to a wondrous view of white sand, a clear blue ocean, and large fluffy white clouds floating in a beautiful azure sky. The cool ocean breeze brushing his cheek was somehow pleasant. That inexplicable stench that permeated the whole of the vessel from which he just escaped seem like it was an entire world away. Soon after, Jin landed with a distinct thud on an island floating in the vast blue ocean. The lonely little island seemed unspoiled, as if had never known the presence of man.* Jin - Where in the hell...am I...? *Just as in muttered his question to himself, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching.* Island - Welcome to the Isle of Ranking. The place where everything on your mind will be exposed. Jin - Everything on my mind...? Island - Bingo, puppet boy. Jin - I have nary a clue as to what you're talking about. Not that I really care. Anyway, where are you hiding? Show yourself! Island - Are you sure? Jin - ... Islander - Are you ABSOLUTELY sure? Jin - Oh dear god...Will you just spare me with the drama and show yourself already? Islander - All righty, then...you asked for it! And presenting #3 in the Jin Kisaragi Rankings...! Islander - Ah, I can't get enough of that blank expression! Lil' Carl's older sister, Nirvana! Jin - Huh? Islander - Well, how does it feel to place third in the rankings? Nirvana - ... Islander - I see. I see! Such a shocking comment! I find it hard to believe that a woman of your stature would ever say such a thing! Anyway, thank you. Thank you very much! Jin - Just hold up there for a second... Islander - Continuing on to #2 in the Jin Kisaragi Rankings...! Islander - You can't imagine what those slim, white bodies do for me! *Ahem* Anyway, second place belongs to Bolverk, lovely Noel's dual guns! Jin - Hold on, I said wait a second... Islander - Unbelievable! Second place! How are you feeling right now? Bolverk - ... Islander - My, oh my! Those comments were just...WOW! Thank you very much! Jin - I said to wai-- Islander - And now, for the grand prize! The top spot in the Jin Kisaragi Rankings belongs to...! Islander - Get a load of the thin, yet pointy-sharp body! I can't get enough of it! Everyone, a big round of applause for Bang's giant 55" nail! Well, congratulations! So, how does it feel to come in first in the Jin Kisaragi Rankings? 55 Inch Nail - ... Islander - Of course, of course, I totally understand what you mean! Is there anyone out there in the world that you would like to share this special moment with? 55 Inch Nail - ... Islander - Why didn't I guess that? of course! Bang! Jin - Hey! Islander - Well, since you always seem to have his back (literally), I guess it's nice for you to stand out on your own every once in a while. Ahaha, you see what I just did there? Jin - For the love of all things holy, I said WAIT! Islander - What's the matter, Master Jin? Jin - What in god's name are all these so-called "rankings" all about? Islander - Umm...I thought you would have figured that out by now, seeing as I've been repeating myself. These are the "Jin Kisaragi Rankings." Jin - Then why is that I have no clue as to what any of the things that are making it into the rankings are? Islander - Well, this last round was a ranking of which items made the least impact on Jin Kisaragi's memory. Jin - ...Oddly enough, that explains everything. Islander - I'm sure you understand now, right? When I said everything in a person's mind would be exposed here, I meant EVERYTHING, now matter how trivial. Jin - Although, I would say this is hardly what I imagined you meant. I'm neither embarrassed, nor do I feel as if rusty daggers have been driven into my soul. Islander - Ahaha! You should be careful what you wish for. We're planning to reveal some more...scandalous...rankings pretty soon. Jin - By the way, is this really you now. You really sounded...a lot...older...at first... Islander - Oh that? That was um...what'chi-ma-call-it, adding character? You have to give your characters some kind of flavor, or listeners will grow bored of you and stop paying attention. Anyway, this is the real me. Ahahaha... Jin - ...And? I'm still waiting for you to show yourself. Islander - Eh? You've been looking at me this entire time. Jin - What is that supposed to mean? Islander - Exactly what I said. I've been standing almost in front of you the whole time. Jin - Where? Islander - Here, right here! I'm...the island. Jin - ... Islander - Huh? You didn't notice? I'm the island, you silly. The island you're standing on right now. You've been walking all over me this whole time. You're a lot denser than I thought, oh mighty Jin. Ahahaha. Jin - ... Islander - Ah! I seem to have hit a nerve! Oh well, what can you do? Anyway, let me change my voice for you. Now introducing Jin Kisaragi's number one favorite voice... Islander w/Ragna's voice - Tada! Yes, this is the one. Jin - B-Brother?! Islander w/Ragna's voice - Wait a second, please. Just calm down. I'm still tuning my voice. Ah-ah-ah. Test test. All right. Got it! Hey, Jin. Jin - I-It's my brother...! Islander w/Ragna's voice - Looks like you're not such a sad panda anymore. Now, moving on to the next ranking! Jin - Let's do this, Brother! Islander w/Ragna's voice - Now introducing third place in the Jin Kisaragi Rankings! Islander w/Ragna's voice - Check out the curvy lines of the slick, dark body! Gaze deep into the huge eyes that seem to look deep into your soul, then stick a dagger into it! A poor, pathetic wretch that toils under that irritatingly evil little wabbit, mascot number 1! Nago - Oh my! You mean, I came in third?! Jin - A...mascot? Islander w/Ragna's voice - Well, little mascot, how does it feel to come in third? Nago - It is nothing short of a disgrace that someone as FABULOUS as me could place as low as third! The competition this year must have been fierce indeed, to push me down this far!...But I'm not worried. Next year, I shall have my revenge. Jin - Is this an annual event? Islander w/Ragna's voice - Not really. Yeah yeah mascot, thanks for you pointless comments...! Nago - Eyaaaagh! Jin - Hey! That wasn't fair...! I wanted to take a shot at him, too. Islander w/Ragna's voice - Oh, sorry about that... I'll tell you what. You can pound on the next guy. Jin - Thanks, Brother! Islander w/Ragna's voice - All right! Let's move on, shall we? The second spot in the Jin Kisaragi Rankings goes to... Islander w/Ragna's voice - Those disgusting cute foot steps can REALLY get on your nerves. And those blank white eyes will make you want to pound the snot out of it! The wabbit's slave, mascot number 2! Jin - ... Islander w/Ragna's voice - ... Jin - ...Nobody's coming out. Islander w/Ragna's voice - Hmm? That's strange. Hey! Mascot #2! Red bat-like thingy! Where'd you go?! Jin - ...Don't tell me he ran away like a frightened child... Islander w/Ragna's voice - Ahh, that's probably it. Well, we WERE talking about punching it repeatedly in the face and stuff... Jin - Oh, what can you do? If he's willing to run away from something as trivial as a good, solid, beating, then he's less than worthless. He's not even worth a contemptuous glance. Islander w/Ragna's voice - So there you have it. I guess we'll just have to tell the rabbit about this later. I doubt she'll be very happy that her familiar ran away and abandoned his duties. Gii - D-D-D-D-Don't do that! Jin - Ah, he decided to show up after all. Gii - Please, please, don't tell the princess! Islander w/Ragna's voice - You mean you're that scared of her? Gii - "Scared" doesn't even begin to describe it. Oh, the horrible things I've seen! The excruciating pain I've felt! Islander w/Ragna's voice - I get it...I get it, OK? Spare me your pathetic whining. Well, it's lucky for us that we have all this valuable footage of you crying like a little baby. We'll just edit everything together and be sure to deliver right into your master's grubby little paws. Gii - Aaaaaaaah! You can't be serious! Jin - Hmph! Gii - Are you serioooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooous!? Islander w/Ragna's voice - Whoa! He could go...all...the...way! Jin - Thanks, brother! That felt really good. So, who came in first? Islander w/Ragna's voice - That's right! Now it's time to announce who came in first in the rankings! Bang - Romance! Victory! Honor! I, Bang Shishigami, the vigilante who fights in the name of love and justice, has arrived! Jin - Talk about scruffy... Islander w/Ragna's voice - Yeah, very. Jin - This guy came in first? What exactly was the theme of this particular ranking? Islander w/Ragna's voice - It's the ranking of..."The minor sub-characters who matter the least." Jin - Once again, that explains everything. Thank you. Bang - S-Sub character?! Me? A sub-character? Surely you jest! Jin - Wait...who are you again? Bang - Nooooooo! Islander w/Ragna's voice - Wow! I knew he came in first and all...but you don't even remember his face... Jin - To be honest, I didn't recognize the two that came in second and third, either. Bang - Hnggggh! How disgraceful! I, Bang Shishigami, will not be dismissed so easily! Now we fight, Jin Kisaragi! Fair and square! Like men! Islander w/Ragna's voice - Ok, that's a wrap! Seriously, knock it off. And there you have it, folks! The three minor characters that mean absolutely nothing to Jin Kisaragi! Jin - They...exploded? Islander - That's right! You see, on the Isle of Ranking, whenever we're done with someone, we kindly "ask" them to leave. Jin - ...What did you do with my brother? Islander - Well, like I said, when we're done with someone... Jin - You bastard! What in the hell did you do to my brother?! Islander - Ow ow ow ow! For the love of all that is holy and not psychotically violent, not there! Quit stomping on me! That spot is really sensitive! Ow. Jin - Brother...! Islander - J-Just calm down for a second, will you? How about we talking about this after our next ranking?! OK? OK! Jin - *Pant* *Pant* *Pant* Islander - Oh, we'll use her! She'll be perfect! *Ahem* Now, for the voice that immediately makes Jin Kisaragi die a little more inside each time he hears it... Noel - H-Hello. Jin - ... Noel - Noel Vermillion here... Jin - ... Noel - Um? Major Kisaragi? Jin - I know who you are. Now get on with it, Lieutenant. Noel - Y-Yes, I'm terribly sorry! And now, in third place in the Jin Kisaragi Rankings... Jin - Wait! Noel - Y-Yes? What is it? Jin - What's the ranking for this time? Noel - Eh? Um... We can't say what the rankings are for until after we announce the first place winner. Jin - Tell me what this ranking is for...Lieutenant. Noel - Y-Yes, sir... Um, this time it's the Jin Kisaragi X Ragna the Bloodedge Ranking, sir. Jin - Very well. Just get on with it. Noel - Eh? Jin - Oh please...Do I have to tell you how to do everything? Noel - Umm...? Jin - Just read the rankings. Now, if you pleace. Right away! Noel - Y-Yes, sir. Understood, sir. Jin Kisaragi X Ragna the Bloodedge Rankings, coming in third place... Ragna - Are you really that big of an idiot?! Jin - Brother! Noel - Um...third place is... Jin - No, wait! Let me guess! Noel - Huh? Jin - This is...When my brother was...I remember now! The first time my brother saw his own wanted posters and went ballistic! Noel - ... Jin - Well, Lieutenant? Am I right? Noel - Ah...y-yes...you are. In third place, the first time Ragna the Bloodedge saw his own wanted posters and exploded into an uncontrollable rage... Jin - Hooray! I knew it! Ah, that expression where he crinkles the middle of his forehead. Yes! Yes! It's perfect! Hurry, woman! What's the next one! I can't wait! Ah, it's the third place version of my brother! Please just wait here. Hurry up and announce second place, you worthless piece of trash! Noel - Y-Yes. Continuing with...the Jin Kisaragi X Ragna the Bloodedge Ranking, second place goes to... Ragna - Hey, enough of this crap! Jin - Brother! Noel - Um...second place is... Jin - Wait wait! I'll guess this one, too. Heh heh...that expression...I know it! I got this one! The second prize goes to that one time his hiccups wouldn't stop when he was in Kagutsuchi, right? I'm right, huh? Noel - No, you're not. Jin - What?! Noel - Second place is the time when Ragna the Blooedge's hiccups wouldn't stop while in the Kaka village. Jin - Damn, so it was THAT one... Noel - ... Jin - I see. I get it now. I can tell by taking a closer look. You're right, this is the Kaka village one. Ahh, I still have much to learn about you, brother. Noel - Wow...I mean...you really know your stuff, Major. Jin - Of course! How shallow did you think my relationship with my brother was! Stop wasting time and announce first place, you steaming pile of garbage! Noel - Wh-Wha--"Steaming pile of garbage"? And earlier, you were calling me a worthless piece of trash. Why are you getting so angr-- Jin - Ah, second place version of my brother, please have a seat right there. Third place version, are you OK? You're not getting bored or anything, are you? I must apologize for the MC, she's awful at pretty much everything she does... Noel - Uh... Jin - Please give her a break. That woman is just a little...slow...in so many ways. Noel - Next! Next! We're moving on! Jin Kisaragi X Ragna the Bloodedge ranking, first place! Jin - I'm really curious as to what first place will be! Second and third place brothers, what do you think it will be? Ragna - You bastard! I'll rip your goddamn heart out! Jin - It's my brother! Noel - And first place is...! Jin - Whenever me and my brother fight! Noel - Y-Yes...you're correct. Jin - Ahhh! I knew it! Brother, you're the best when you willingly accept all of my hate with open arms! Here, here! Come over here, first place version! Jin - Ah, you miserable, fermenting pile of compost, feel free to just disappear now. Noel - Wh-What the--Fine then, I'm finished here anyway. and on that note, Th-Th-That's all, folks! Jin - Yeah yeah, bye. Oh yeah, right. Isle of Ranking, can you hear me? Don't worry about disposing of my brothers here. Remember that one spot I hit earlier? Yeah, if you even THINK about erasing them, I vow to you that I will spend the rest of my days hacking away on that spot with my sword. Understood? Islander - ...Yes... Jin - Now, brothers of mine, since there's no one here to interrupt us, we can fight to the death in peace! Again and again and again, until the very end of time! *And as time passed, the name "Isle of Ranking" slowly began to fade into history, and the island became to be known as the "Isle of Brotherly Violence."* END

If anyone else wants some of the English specific dialogue/interaction/endings posted up from Story mode I'll be glad to do that.

Stick to doing double j.C when the opponent is knocked high into the air and j.C, j.D -> JC -> j.C, BE any other time. Also, when doing 5B -> 6A -> 5D I like to do Dash -> j.B. j.C, -> j.C, BE

He's he only one who does not. He's just...too cool.

Missing - Linhua, Tsubaki, v-13, and Taokaka My favorite part of that ending though has to be Platinum. Fucking hilarious, especially with her english VA

Rachel's Joke Ending (Typed word for word by yours truly) Rachel - Good morning, Ragna. As foolish as always, I see. Ragna - Gah! Freakin' Rabbit! What are you doing here? Rachel - What a silly question. Why should I tell you why I do anything? Must I always tell you my whereabouts now? Ragna - No...of course not...but... Rachel - ... Luna - ... Ragna - ... Rachel - *Sigh*...You are such a slow creature. ...No, creature is too kind. Something even lower than that...Barely even a form of life Ragna - What the hell, Rabbit? Rachel - You see? You bark back so quickly. They say the weaker dog, the more it will bark, but even that could not account for the noise you make. Wouldn't you agree? Ragna - What the hell?!...Although you seem to be in rare form today. Rachel - ...And? Who is she? Ragna - Huh? What do you mean who's... *Ragna looks down at Platinum. She sits in front of him, eating fried chicken. Rachel's eyes thin to menacing slits.* Ragna - Uum...Platinum...Uh...I mean now, she's... Luna - It's Luna Rachel - Oh? I see. Then you are a pedophile after all. Ragna - WHOA! Where the hell did that come from?! Rachel - I'm sorry, but when I see a spade--or in this case, a pedophile--I call it such. Oh! Perhaps you don't know what the word means. A pedophile, you see, is a man who likes- Luna - You suck! Sena - Luna, that was totally uncalled f-- Luna - Hey, I just call 'em like I see them. Hehehe. Are you...JEALOUS? *Platinum laughs maniacally. Ragna cannot help but notice the expression that creeps across Rachel's delicate features. We're going to see some blood, he thinks* Rachel - Ah, yes! Ragna. I have a present for you. Ragna - Huh? A present?! Rachel - If you would be so kind as to close your eyes for a moment... Ragna - Hell no! God knows what you're going to do! Besides...anything from you probably wouldn't be worth having... Rachel - Well I never! Hah! *With a graceful chop of her hand, Rachel strikes the back of Ragna's neck. His eyes roll back in his head, and consciousness leaves him* Rachel - I'm rather bored, Ragna. I believe I'll play with you a little to pass the time. *Rachel twirls away from the slumbering Ragna and leaps atop the table. Platinum laughs hysterically. Rachel draws a pair of elegant spectacles from the folds of her dress and places them on Ragna. Her grin is one of satisfaction. It is not pleasant.* Rachel - Valkenhayn! Valkenhayn - I am here, madam. Rachel - Explain to him, as you would to a child. Valkenhayn - But of course, milady. I don't wish to appear arrogant, or presumptuous, but please, allow me to explain. The item that Madam Rachel has placed upon the insect Ragna the Bloodedge are the legendary Spectacles of Eros, and a powerful magical item they are indeed. Their effect will spread quickly through all of Kagutsuchi, and soon, no matter where Ragna may try to hide, the power of the Spectacles of Eros will exert their power over others. Everyone, even those who hated, will come to love him. That...is the dreadful power of the Spectacles of Eros. The Spectacles of Eros were crafted so perfectly, in times of yore, that the person wearing them will not even feel their presence and will never know that they have become the bearer of such a powerful artifact. Rachel - Very nicely said. Valkenhayn - You are too kind, madam. *With a deep bow, Valkenhayn disappears into the darkness. Rachel claps once, and Ragna jolts back to consciousness.* Ragna - *Gasp* Wh-What just happened? Did I get hit by a truck or something...? Rachel - *Giggle* Why, whatever do you mean, Ragna? What foolishness. Ragna - Yeah. I guess you're right...Huh? Luna, what's up with you? Why are you looking down? Sena - Oh? It seems that her heart is racing. Ragna - Your face is bright red. Did you eat something funny? Luna - Sh-Shut up, dumbass! I'm...not...red...! Ragna - Suit yourself. If you're running a fever or have a stomachache, just stay the hell away from me. I don't want to catch anything you have. Luna - What?! How can you be insensitive, you jackass? Saying mean things like that to Luna! You're so mean, Ragna! You suck! WHAAAAAAA! *Luna's eyes suddenly began to fill with tears.* Ragna - Whoa, hold on a sec! What's with all the crying?! Rachel - Ooooh! Ooooh! You made her CRY, you cruel man, you! Ragna - Me?! Luna - *Whimper* Ragna - Hey, Sena! What you waiting for? Do something! Sena - Umm...I don't think there's anything I can do. Ragna - Why are you acting like this is none of your business?! Sena - Because...Well, you know...it's not, really... Luna - It's you fault Ragna! You said mean things...! I hate you Ragna! I HATE YOU! I...I...I LOVE YOU! Ragna - WHAAAAAT?! Where the hell did THAT come from?! Sena - Wow! Now I'm embarrassed... Rachel - Oh ho ho ho. How delightful! They're working PERFECTLY! None can resist the almighty power of the Spectacles of Eros! Luna - Ragna! Luna loves yoooou! Ragna - Gah! Stop! Don't touch me! Rachel - You, child. Do you truly love Ragna that much? Luna - Yes! A thousand times, YES! Rachel - Oh dear. That won't do at all. Luna - Why?! Rachel - Why, because Ragna is simply head-over-heels in love with me, of course! Luna - WHAT!? Is that true!? Ragna - NO! And in case you missed it the first time, HELL NO! You twisted, evil, blood-sucking rabbit! What the hell do you think you're doing?! Rachel - Oh come now, Ragna! No need to be shy. Just admit your feelings...Admit that you are my devoted servant! Ragna - Who are you calling a servant?! Litchi - Ragna the Bloodedge! Kokonoe - Is Ragna here!? Noel - Ragna the Bloodedge is here, isn't he? Rachel - My goodness, what an interesting collection of visitors. Litchi - There he is! Ragna's over there! Kokonoe - You song of a bitch! You know how hard it was to find you!? Noel - Just stay right there, Ragna the Bloodedge! Ragna - Wait a minute? What's going on?! Litchi - Don't worry, Ragna. Everything will be all right. Just drink this "Philter of Unwavering Passion"! Be sure to drink it all at once! *Litchi draws a small bottle from between her breasts and presses it to Ragna's lips.* Ragna - *Gag* Noel - *Shoots bottle* All right! Litchi - What do you think you're doing, Lieutenant?! You just blasted my special medicine across the room! Noel - I was going to ask you the same question, Miss Litchi! How dare you make him drink such a shameless potion! Litchi - You're still very much a child, Lieutenant! Sometimes love requires that one use a bit of...persuasion...to make it bloom. Noel - L-Love... Litchi - Do I need to draw you a picture? I love Ragna the Bloodedge! Bang - WHAT DID YOU SAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!? Kokonoe - Huh? Did you hear that? Outside? It sounded like millions of voices cried out in anguish, and were suddenly silenced... Litchi - No. You're probably just hearing things. Noel - B-But...! No matter how much you love someone, you can't just drug them! Kokonoe - Yes. Of course. Medicine is completely off-limits! Terribly unfair. Here, Ragna. Eat this candy. It'll refresh your...uh...mouth. Ragna - Oh...Thanks... Litchi - HI-YAAAAH! Ragna - *Gag* Rachel - Oh my. An impressive strike. It seems the candy has been shattered. A shame. Kokonoe - Gah! Litchi - Professor, it seems that I can't stop watching you for even a second... Ragna - Will SOMEBODY please tell me what's going on? Litchi - Ragna, the candy the professor just offered you contained a very, very, VERY powerful sleeping pill. Ragna - You can't be serious?! Kokonoe - He he he. You saw right through me, Litchi you fox. Yeah, that's right. I put a sleeping pill in there. Oh, not just any sleeping pill! This shit would knock the Black Beast out! It's, ah, quite strong. Ragna - You've got to be kidding?! Noel - Miss Kokonoe. What were you going to do to Mr. Ragna the Bloodedge after you put him to sleep? Kokonoe - Ah, yes, well, no reason to tell you. First, I intended to take his XXX (INFERNO DIVIDER!) and put it in a XXXX (CARNAGE SCISSORS!). Maybe a little XXX (GAUNTLET HADES!) too? My goodness, I can only imagine what his XXXXX (HELLS FANG!) will XXX (DEAD SPIKE!)! Noel - WH-WH-WH-WHAT?! How could you stoop so low? That's...totally unfair! Kokonoe - Like I care. Keep dreaming, kid. I'm gonna make Ragna MINE. Litchi - Ragna is MINE! Noel - Don't speak of him as if he's merely an object! Luna - Just shut the hell up, you skanky old hags! *Simultaneously Litchi - Who are you calling an old hag!? Kokonoe - Oh, I better not have just heard what I think I heard! Noel - Me, an old hag!? End simultaneous dialogue* Noel - I've had enough! I'm going to make one thing clear to all of you...Ragna the Bloodedge...is already...is already MY husband! Ragna - WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Rachel - How dare you, Ragna! You could have me as your wife! Why?! Ragna - YOU, stay out of this! You're just making things worse! Luna - What the hell are you blabbering about, you shriveled old prune? Explain yourself! Noel - I took the liberty of going to city hall and filing our marriage registration! I am now OFFICIALLY Mrs. Ragna the Bloodedge! Ragna - MARRIAGE REGISTRATION?! How the hell did you do that?! Kokonoe - Yeah, OK, fine. What about the seal? There's no way in hell you've got Ragna the Bloodedge's stamp! Noel - Oh, that...Well...I had a friend in the armament division make me one... Ragna - What?! Doesn't the Librarium have more important things to be doing?! *Glass shatters* Rachel - Oh my. It seems we can look forward to some, ah, inter-species mingling... Makoto - You're Ragna? Wow! You're so hot! Lambda - Ragna located. Intense attraction...confirmed. Expression of love...initiated. Nirvana - ... *Makoto and Lambda leap at Ragna, crushing him beneath their supple, young bodies. He lets out a muffled scream of agony.* Noel - You...you...you shameless hussies! Need I remind you that Ragna the Bloodedge is MY husband?! *With cold, robotic purpose, Nirvana slowly extends her arm in front of Noel. Her hand opens. Resting in the palm are the remnants of a slip of paper. All that is left is Noel's marriage certificate.* Noel - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My marriage registration! Rachel - Delightful! So they can affect even her! The Spectacles of Eros are more powerful than I could possibly imagine! *With the same cold purpose, Nirvana extends her other arm. Gripped in the hand is...* Rachel - Oh my...Is that...a detonator? Nirvana - ... *Her only answer is to depress the red button atop it. The sound of explosions fills the air* Kokonoe - Oh! Ah yes! The sweet sound of multiple explosive detonations! I love the smell of explosions in the morning! And I do believe they are coming from the direction of Kagutsuchi City Hall! Noel - WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? No! I won't be able to submit one of my duplicate marriage registrations! Luna - You actually have more of them?! You conniving little bitch! Litchi - You got the Librarium to make you a fake seal...That's pretty sad. Impressive...but sad. Lambda - Analyzing subject. Dignity...undetectable. Mammary glands...below detectable parameters. Makoto - There's no way that Ragna could possibly fall for someone like Noel. She's not even an adult yet. Noel - Wh-Why is everyone ganging up on me? It's so unfair...It's just that...I...fell in love with Ragna the Bloodedge... Jin - Excuse me, but what did you just say...? Ragna - Jin?! Rachel - My goodness! This is...both unexpected and...pleasing. Jin - You seem to be surrounded by a great number of beautiful women. Perhaps you can explain the meaning of all this... Ragna - Hey! Not you too?! And what's with your eyes? They're...heart-shaped...?! Rachel - What madness is this!? Is sexual preference little more than a simple bump in the road for the Spectacles of Eros?!...Although in the ultimate analysis, I rather doubt Jin's feelings toward Ragna required much...modification. Jin - You horrible pack of harpies, don't you dare touch my brother! Get out of my way, or I'll cut you to pieces! Rachel - Oh dear! *Rachel's danger sense springs to life, and the vampire leaps through the nearest window. Not a moment too soon...* Jin - Yukianesa! *The explosion ruffles Rachel's perfect bangs. What she sees in front of her is neither love, nor hate, nor obsession...Merely fire, engulfing a Chinese restaurant. She glances down to find the Spectacles of Eros resting near her foot. With dainty fingers, she picks them up.* Rachel - The Spectacles of Eros... a powerful item indeed...They can work their power on men and women of all ages...Wait. Why, then, did they not affect me? *Rachel shrugs and places the glasses over her eyes. The fire she sees through the Spectacles of Eros is a little frightening, a little beautiful, and a little bittersweet.* END

One more addition - Each followup for Dead Spike removes additional primers, regardless of whether or not the others were blocked.

Some notes on Unlimited Ragna from the 5 seconds I've used him - Triple jump from CT has been removed Still feels significantly faster All C Sword Slashes now deal life drain (Includes first hit of Carnage Scissors, Belial Edge and C Inferno Divider first part) All non-sword C moves do not drain health Dead Spike only deals one hit, but gains a two part followup (First followup deals wallbounce, 2nd hit grounds opponent) Significant damage increase Gains a flashing red sword effect (Remains during his Astral Heat) Gains a "Flaking" aura, like the ones his drives leave behind Still has auto-heat gain Other than that, just Ragna in perma Blood Kain thus far

Nope

He's far from perfect balance wise, but easily fixable. If anything 2C is too strong (Safety + Speed + FC), and BE needs an adjustment on heatgain.

I've got 0 experience with this matchup, so it's hittin' me pretty hard so far. You just have to be patient as fuck. Litchi's who jump away spam j.C seem to be untouchable (And if you get hit on counter, you're eating 4.2k+ in the corner). Everything else she has seems so damn untouchable I don't even know where to begin my offensive. Luckily if you do manage to close the distance it seems pretty easy to keep it that way, just watch for the DP and go to town.

This is something I'd love to see

Damn, Mei Fang looks fun Especially when you thrown in ZA WARUDO and pull some Dio Shenanigans (Minus throwing knives and dropping steamrollers on you). She looks like she has to do a bit extra work compared to some other characters so far though.

I can't seem to find many vids of Mei-Fang or Scharlachrot (The one video I did find of her had Lilica beasting her like none other)

Still thinking about it.

Yeah, the shoto franchise character is top. This was completely unexpected.

GGs to TitaniumBeast again, I still need to work on reacting to shit in general but I think I'm improving as far as hitconfirming and knowing my zone of attack goes. Ah well, as I keep playing I should improve with time.

And Dat robot. By that I mean dat sexbot. And she knows how to cook. Perfect woman here folks.

Most lists have been placing her in the A range, so that's probably generally accepted. If anyone has some decent vids of Lilica, Schar, Elsa, Akane or Mei-Fang I'd be dieing to see some of dat. Also, why the Mei-Fang hate? Dat ass an such.

Fuck Tsubaki

Also, wtf is up with everyone in this game having Ragna health and SNK boss damage

Weiss, Scharlachrot and Lilica are the most appealing designs to me so far...now I just need to find some gameplay vids. But srsly, Scharlachrot...dat psycho red haired bitch ftw.